I’ve been having some struggles this week, and I just want to write about it to get it off my chest a little bit – so, sorry for a slightly boring post…
Earlier in the week on Sunday night I said something rude to a good friend, and offended this person a whole lot. I immediately felt bad, tried to call them, and got the voicemail. I pseudo-apologized, and asked for a return call for a proper apology, but to no avail. After a few more attempts that night and the next day, I finally received my answer – “no we’re not ok, I don’t want to talk about it. Give me time.”
Not only was this NOT the answer I was hoping for, it is also NOT the way I usually handle problems. For example – a few weeks ago, a friend and I had an issue on a Saturday night. The next day after church and lunch, we met and talked about it. We ended up working everything out and we were fine. By that evening, we were laughing and sharing a pizza like nothing had happened. All good. And that’s how I like to handle my problems – talk it out, immediately.
But this time I can’t, because they don’t want to. And it’s really hard for me to actually leave it alone, and just allow time and space. It’s so opposite of what I want to do! But if this is what’s going to help our problem, then I guess that’s what I have to do. So I’m waiting. Not very patiently, but I’m trying.
And on top of this specific incident, I was told that I often say things without thinking about it first. It was a little shocking because it’s something I hadn’t been told before, but now it’s gotten me concerned that I’ve hurt others in the past, without even realizing it. So if that is true, please know that I’m sorry! I hope you all know that I would never want to hurt my friends intentionally.
So, please pray for me as I try to work on the things I say from now on, because the tongue is a difficult thing to tame. In fact, scripture tells us so. Read James 3:1-12; that’s what I’ll be working on. Here is an excerpt: “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so,” vs. 10.
Friends – please pray with me that this is a task I can accomplish, because it’s going to be hard. Love to you all.
(P.S. – if you are the person I’m referring to from Sunday, and you’re reading this, I’m still waiting. And I’m ready. So when you’re ready, I’ll still be here.)